Sorry but no, this is not a blog post dedicated to the awesomeness of Guns n` Roses amazing debut album, though believe me, I could go on and on about how bad ass that album is.
I was originally writing a blog post about cause and what motivates us to go more, based on this weeks Weight Watcher topic to, you guessed it, MOVE MORE!
However though, things took a little bit of a shift and I wanted to carry this one first.
I`ve been bit by the blues bug! Why Suzi? How come Suzi? You`re on top of the public right now Suzi? Yes, I think in ways I am, but if you`ve been following me for a piece now, you know that I am notorious for screwing with my own progress. I can`t differentiate you how many times I was just 1 or 2 lbs away from hitting another weight loss milestone, only to go on a gorge and then be 5-6 lbs away.
I`ve talked about this a bit before, and how there is definitely some deep down psychological nonsense going on here as to why we do this to ourselves. I live I am not only here! (Right? Please?) Once we look like we are on top of the world, we somehow manage to fill a few additional steps back.
Anticipation for the Weight Watchers photo shoot, hitting 101 lbs lost, getting the new job with Weight Watchers, fitting into a size small dress from Victoria Secrets_I have *SO* many things to be grateful for good now and trust me, I am without a doubt VERY grateful for all of them.
So then why did I do to eat 2_yes, count them, TWO bricks of cheese this weekend?? Why make I managed to bring bottles of wine into my spirit on a more regular basis again?? Why did I order that sub WITH OIL?? Why did I eat an entire tub (albeit a regular size one, not a great one) of hummus (damn you Sabra!?? And so the following night eat almost 1/2 a container of french onion dip??
I don`t know why I did these things or made these choices. BUT I do love one matter and that is that I cannot undo what I did. I make no magical time machine that will bring me backwards and make me think twice. I acted on pulse and without care. Maybe I simply didn`t need to be a "weight watcher" for a few days. Maybe I wanted to look like somebody who hasn`t always had to determine their weight or watch what they eat. Either way, whats done is done.
So here I sit, feeling like shit. The shell is not my friend right now, but I love better than to care how I feel based on what that thing says! What matters is how I *physically* feel. My stomach has been killing me and I look like I make a bag of rocks in it. I don`t let that same glow in my cheek and I feel yucky in my clothes. I feel down and stock and like I`m full of garbage. All of this hit me pass on like an awful crash.
But I will separate myself what I have told so many others_It is what it is! Face it, accept it and Go ON! Today was a brand new day and while mentally I may nevertheless be feeling a bit yucky, physically I am starting to find a bit better. I have tracked today and careful and weight out all of my food. I got dozens of extra H2O in and throw a respectable dinner of rotisserie chicken, baked potato & roasted asparagus in storage for me.
My right Achilles (ankle) has been bothering me for nearly two weeks now. I havent been on a run since last Monday and I am reasonably sure that has played a major part into all of this. Just goes to read you how important activity and effort in your lifespan can be! However, my ankle is feeling a bit better today, but I was bright and am keeping up with the ice and compressing. Maybe tomorrow or Friday I can do a couple miles on the treadmill. I hope :/
Enough with the debbi-downer stuff though_.Here are some good things_..
- I got all my Weight Watchers employment paperwork & sent it all back out. I am officially a Weight Watchers employee now! I will get my training within the following week!
- My photo shoot for the Weight Watchers success story will have rank this month! I am more mad about this than I can still put in words. I cant look to part this journey with all of you!
- This Saturday is the annual BrewFest! I plan on doing a whole post about this afterwards. This is pretty much the just time of class I drink "real" beer and a lot of my family comes into town to go. It`s a big to-do for all of us. If you recall from last year, I won the Triple Atomic Chicken Wing Challenge at Quaker, Steak & Lube afterwards. (however in my drunken state, I simply asked to do the atomic but completed a few weeks after that they gave me the triple)
- I got my hair trimmed this week. I live I will have stylists and squeeze in NYC for the picture shoot but I wanted to get my ends trimmed at least. I havent had a cut since before my 1/2 marathon_(please note, I had to get up at 7:00 am, didn`t go to bed until 2:00 am_I`m also not wear any makeup so I apologise for the blah!)
- And so there is the crazy exciting word about this years Valentines Day dress. For those of you who don`t know, Valentines Day is a big deal for Frankie and I. Each year we go out and spend a lot of money on each other and together. You can learn about last year here. Ordering my clothes for Valentines Day has variety of become an event all on its own. This years dress comes from Victoria Secrets and is a size SMALL. Here`s a pic of it (in rough draft form of course_I wont be rocking the ace bandage & my hair & makeup will be done LOL)
Well, thank you for hearing to me bitch and whine. I love this spirit of "blah" will pass. Sometimes, we simply want to find "the low" so we can think how amazing "the high" feels. I may not learn right away why I do this to myself, but I get by a little stronger and wiser each time.
XOXO
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